Fucking Morons !

I'm sorry for the use of harsh language.. but right now, I can't describe my fellow co-workers any other way. They are all so god damn childish, and petty, ugh.. they piss me off! They all talk about each other behind their backs.. they all hate each other.. and they like to dump all this info on me. They never want to work their shifts.. yet they want the money, and they complain that they have no money.
*UMM HELLLO?! YOU CAN'T GET PAID FOR NOTHING! SO SUCK IT UP, GROW UP, AND SMARTEN THE FUCK UP!!*
I also found out that the only other chick that works nights gave her 2 weeks today, so once again, I'm gonna get fucked over.. *joy* It's partly my fault though, I'm to nice to say no.. so when people ask me for shit, I do it, because I feel bad if I don't. This always gets me the shitty end of things, I know this, and yet.. I continue to do it. So I think I need a good smack in the head as much as the rest of them. :s

--Speaking of work, I hate it when you ask for someone's name.. and they throw their I.D. at you.. umm, can you not talk?! You can't use the excuse of laziness because would it not be easier to just say "My name is Joe Smith" rather then going through all your shit to find your god damn I.D.?!
I also got a visit from the 'Horny Old Man' from Massachusetts *shudder* Every time he's here.. he gets a smoking room, then waits for his little N.Y Senorita to arrive. I swear this girl is young enough to be his daughter! Soo nasty!! She'll once again be here for a few hours, and then leave.. *gag*--

Today was just a shitty day in general. I found out for sure that there's absolutely no chance of my Birthday Vacation Extravaganza.. because "work has him all over the place" pfft... whatever!! [*evs*] My birthday is a god damn month away! [47 days to be exact] don't gimme that shit about work! So needless to say, underneath the 'front' of rage.. I was very saddened by this. It all seems so pointless, and I don't know what else to do.. but give up.. I mean, it's almost been a year.. and yet, nothing. *sigh*
--I needs me some Ben & Jerry's Oatmeal ice cream--

Candace:..
Noo!! You're not only good for pumpkin seeds, and prezzies!! You're also good for Tea in Bubble form!! And jumping down your stairs, and hitting your head.. and leaving hair behind on the ceiling!!*heart* I knew that you didn't really want to go see T.C.M with me.. because you were scared of Samara.. so the idea of Leather Face *yikes* you'd be traumatized for life! Also that Shii[t] song was cuute, I think that voice could totally shatter glass though.. yeah, that got annoying FAST. I did like that they were so super ghetto that they used little beer crates for tables. Aww, and the end was sad, when she had to pack up all her little cat belongings and move away.. due to snow.. *tear* haha

THANK GOD FOR 3 NIGHTS OFF!!

-Ash

. .Can't Wait For Saturday. .

Seeing as Candace has forced me to write something dedicated to her.. due to the fact that she has gifts pour moi..

Candace! This one's pour vous!
[..as well as for you Mina, since you got me the gifts as well.. but don't tell Candace]

We are totally going to The Pumpkin Patch!! Even though it's become so commercial.. $47.00 to see that pumpkin with the growth on it! It's a good time.. so juvenile, yet good! I think that we should force feed a whole bunch of pumpkin seeds to Mina to "see the side-effects" while we are at the pumpkin patch! I wanna ride a big pumpkin hahaha :p And then you can take a picture!
I have to be home by 11:30.. [yes I have a curfew] nah.. so I can watch Dane Cook on SNL in my pjs!

! DANE COOK + The Killers = SNL season premiere AWESOMENESS !

I hear that we are also going mini-putting.. and to the old man restaurant Perkins for dinner ->Tres Exciting minus old man Perkins :p haha

The actual main reason I am excited though.. I'm not gonna lie.. is to get my gifts haha *I kid! I kid!*

Blaah! I think I'm getting sick.. me no likey this feeling! My throat is killing me, and my head is achy : ( *boo*

Haha, I just found this little memo about a Christmas Party.. sorry 'Christmas' offends [pffft] but let me rephrase that:..
Haha, I just found this little memo about a 'Holiday Party'.. *jerk-asses*
Anyway.. I can only imagine how that would turn out, put all these people in one room.. and one time, and they all hate each other. I bet that would be a party :s Nah, the sad thing is that they act all civil to each other, but then as soon as they're alone.. they tell me all the 'dirt'. "So in so pisses me off" or "I can't believe they wouldn't work my shift! That bitch!" Add some alcohol into that equation however.. and it's World War 3 Comfort Inn style!

Yeah.. totally don't have anything else to write about. As usual, nothin' excitin' goin' on 'round here.. [haha, that was so Hill Billy]
I think perhaps I'll go screw with the Even Number Lady's mind.. or pull the fire alarm.. SOMETHING!

B.T.W - Marina?! What's with just leaving me?! Huh!! That was very uncalled for!! Jerk!!

t00dles!
-Ash

p.s. Also can't wait for next Friday [Oct.6] ..why you ask?
Friday - Employee Of The Month: avec my Kate-Dawg
Saturday - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: avec my Kate-Dawg
*good times all around*

in addition..

**Ok, so had to add this in here.. there's a woman set to arrive at the hotel today, and when she made her reservation she had a few little 'requests' about the room. The first 2, pretty normal:.. a room on the first floor, and at the back of the building [so as to not be disturbed by the highway] The third request however.. a little odd:.. it HAS to be a room with an even number! WTF!? Never heard this one before.. a little superstitious much?? Crazzzy lady from Mississauga!! I checked back into her files.. she's stayed here 4 times.. and each time, has given a hard time about the whole even number thing.. haha
Anyway, I printed a copy of the note left on the account.. because it makes me laugh**


If you don't be quiet lady! I'll stick you in 121.. yeah.. how would you like that?!?! That would be funny for me, on so many levels!!

Miso Bored! / Pumpkin Seeds Will Make You Gay?

First things first.. According to the Medical Expertise of 'Dr. Ran' pumpkin seeds will in fact make a person gay. "It's a proven fact" :s Due to an experience at the Bulk Barn, that involved microwaving pumpkin seeds, and putting pop corn flavour on them. M'kay haha.
Now according to some people who actually know what they're talking about.. pumpkin seeds are used as a herbal remedy for nausea. See.. used for curing sickness! Not for causing gayness! lol

Ugh! I swear to god the Las Vegas people are trying to piss me off!! Knowing that I'm probably not going to get my 'Birthday Vacation Extravaganza' They keep sending me all these e-mails about how I am able to win a chance to travel there for free. I've gotten like 4 e-mails, just today.. trying to hock free shit upon me. *Please Stop*

And now on to some work stuff..

We usually don't get to much fun stuff left behind by our guests. Books, shoes, medication.. etc. Today, however.. one of the house keepers found A BAR IN A BOX! *A Porta-Bar if you will* It's so brilliant! Plain little black box, with a lock.. you open it up to a plethora of alcohol, cork-screws, and stir-sticks [that could double as straws for snorting coke!] GENIUS! PURE GENIUS! Not to mention.. who ever feels the need to travel with such things.. is now my new hero!

What else, what else:.. Mr. Boss man didn't feel the need to spend the night here, so I didn't have to deal with his jack assery. That was pure sweetness right there! Come here.. sign our cheques.. then get your ass back to the T-Dot! We're all a lot happier that way! Guh.. but there is a stupid fly in here, that's driving me crazzy!! When I get a hold of that sucker with the fly swatter.. he's gonna be sorry!! Mwahaha

Aside from that, tonight was once again nothing special. Well, besides the very intelligent conversation between me and 'The Dr.' haha. That went from Homo-Pumpkin Seeds.. to her wishing death upon me, Trotsky style *Ooo, ice pick to the head* That was a little harsh dear. Throw in some of her watching Mr.T get felt up on Conan.. and you got yourself one kick ass conversation right there!

Plus! My mood is improving! I no longer feel the need to punch something haha! So even though I'm bored as hell.. all and all.. it has been a good night! : ) And it's only 1am.. 6 hours to go : (

Cheers!
-Ash

Oh, and .p.s. apparently [I'm not gonna say who says this] but apparently OJ Simpson was at M.T. Bellies in Welly the other night.. Yeah.... Mm'kay there.... You're such a smart boy darlin' why do you say such things.. and what's worse.. why do you believe them?! What am I going to do with you?! [..not going to answer that :p]

Blah.. with a capital 'B'

I think I can sufficiently say that tonight sucked a whole lot of ass!

I'm just in a terrible mood and the sad thing is, I have absolutely no idea why.. It probably doesn't help that it was another slow, and boring night at my place of business. -- Sitting here, and doing nothing for 8 hours, isn't exactly a good way to make a person giddy -- It also doesn't help that I spent a good chunk of that time getting 'advice' on my mood from someone that could be the poster boy of prozac. Seriously.. everytime I talk to this boy, he goes on and on about how life sucks, and how nothing ever works out for him. Sorry to break it to you, but if you go through your life believing that everything sucks.. EVERYTHING WILL SUCK! Smile, it makes thing better and don't be so god damn negative all the time!

Anyway.. now that I've swore at a garbage bag that wouldn't open, and kicked a muffin across the lobby.. I feel a little better : ) *How's that for an excuse for Anger-Management* haha Nah.. that muffin totally deserved it :s

I can't wait for Saturday! 3 lovely days away from this place! *woo woo* I think I just need a long, relaxing vacation -- away from everything that has become routine in my life.
-Like for my birthday, and a certain someone needs to stop working so damn much.. and come with me!- : )

Are you kidding me?!?!?! Monster-Smart-Car?!?!?! Who in their right mind would pay money for this.. ?!?!?!
http://news.en.autos.sympatico.msn.ca/article.aspx?cp-documentid=938952

Wow.. this was pretty short.. for me.. *shut it* haha

Au Revoir
-Ash

This Is Getting Ridiculous

Ever since I started this blog.. nothing exciting has happened around here! I mean, I know it's getting colder.. and people don't want to travel as much, let alone travel here to "Hick-Ville O.N.T" haha But c'mon! I at least need a little excitement now and then.. it helps pass the time!

Tonight, after my one shitty day off.. was boring as usual. I spent my time shopping on eBay, and watching random shit on You Tube.
Classic video:.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNxwAU_xAMk [because I am 'muffin'] lol "You'll eat a muffin! You'll eat it, and like it!" I don't know about you, but I could sure go for a bits of glass muffin right about now!

One fun part of the night:..
I went to grab the news papers from yesterday morning, to 'recycle' them.. and was a little shocked [and kind of disgusted] to find this on the front page:

THE HOLY LAND EXPERIENCE. . .

**The little caption got cut off when I scanned it, but it said: "Actor Les Chavelday @ The Holy Land Experience, a bible-based tourist attraction near Orlando. According to packaged facts, the market for Christian products -including books, movies, & music- is worth $7.5 billion [U.S.] a year & growing much faster then overall retail sales.." Am I the only one that finds something wrong with using a religion 'theme park' to sell shitty 'Christian merchandise' ?! [Is this really where you saw those 'bible-bars' and 'testamints' Marina?] *wink*

Now, buried near the very end of the paper was the actual "story" I guess they figured people wouldn't be as pissed off about all the Christian Greed if they had to go searching for the info? They built it in 2001 near Disney World.. so they could leach people over from there, and convert them.
They manage to lure 200, 000 people a year with the promise of getting to see "live daily re-enactments of the crucifixion" Ooo, and a scale model of "Christ's Tomb" apparently this helps fuel the guest's 'quest for knowledge' :s *whatever* Honestly, how would you feel if you had to go to work every day claiming to be 'Jesus' and knowing that you were gonna die [again] If I were Dane Cook, I'd call you very egotistical and cover you with spaghetti! haha

Then the article continues to go on about how they want to build "Christian Only Sub-Divisions" that will be complete with it's own Christian schools, porn-free television, and drug stores that refuse to sell any form of birth control. Oh, and this was my favourite part. They offer "Faith Guard" insurance. It's targeted towards Americans that attend Church on a regular basis.. it'll help ya with all those early Sunday morning fender-benders in the Church parking lot :s Umm, if one attends Church so regularly.. shouldn't the Big Guy be watching out for them to prevent such accidents from happening in the first place?

*Thanks Globe & Mail*
If you would like to learn more about this "magical land of virtue" they even have their own little web-site!
http://www.holylandexperience.com/

T00dles
-Ash

p.s. Mina.. I'm soo looking forward to my 'gift' haha. It better be something good! :p

not in a capital mood. .

i feel like being all super lazy, so no cappy cappy capitals allowed in this blog! the lower case letter really is just a beautiful thing, and i don't think they're appreciated as much as they should be. haha

i will start off with some 'tales' from yesterday morning: . .
so, it's about 6am. . and i wanted nothing more then to leave [if you read my previous blog, then you know why] the phone rings and i answer it in my normal 'cheerful' self <- which is a little disgusting considering it's 6am. anyway, it's the lazy fucks in room 241 "umm, do you think you could bring the news paper up to my room?" uhh. . let me think. . how about fuck no! why don't you walk your fat little self down here to the lobby and get your paper yourself, like everyone else. buh bye! ugh, really, where the hell do some people get off?!

then there was the hoity toity dog show bitches. . these women are the worst! they all came out for some breaky, and they were being all pleasent to each other's faces. . but then as soon as one of them had their backs turned, the claws came out! i was watching as they would all point and snicker to their husbands, or other dog show groupies. . it was rediculous!

** speaking of breakfast. . candace, and marina. . if by some chance you talk to my dad. . we went out for breakfast this morning :p [which is why i now have to buy candace pancakes] lol but yeah, we went out ok haha. i had breakfast 3 times, it was good, . .i kinda want more hahahaha :p i'm always up for breakfast. ahh gooood times :) **

that's all for now, perhaps i will add more lates, if anything exciting happens around here. i'm so glad i'm off tomorrow night! hooray for sleeping in my bed!

pip pip cheerio!
-ash

b.t.w. candace! no more mina directed comments on this bad boy! m'kay! thanks doll face! :)

Ashley In The Sky With Diamonds. . .

Another shitty night at Le Comfort Inn.

I'd like to start by saying that, I think that song sounds so much better with my name in it, as opposed to "Lucy" haha I blame Miss Candace for this.. she's always listening to it, and I tend to like to make up my own song lyrics for things haha so "Ashley in the Sky with Diamonds" was born! *wow, I have no life* As to why I chose that as my title.. no idea.. it's just been in my head all night, and I thought it sounded better then "Wow, The Comfort Inn Sucks Hairy Ass" Wouldn't you agree? I know I'd much rather read something with a nice title..

Lets see, lets see what went on tonight? A whole pile of nothing with a side of boredom sounds about right.

I did have one walk-in.. and he was a DICK! [What is it about Friday nights that seems to bring out the jack-asses?!] Anyway, back to the dick.. he comes in at around 1am, all dressed in his fancy suit, and just thinks he's the shit. Spouting off all these demands:.. "I want a non-smoking room.. near a door.. on the first floor.. I want a card of the wireless.. blah, blah, blah" I swear he went on for like 15 minutes about all the shit that he wanted. Then he complained that $80 was to much, cuz it was 1am.. he didn't want to pay that much. "Dude, that's the cheapest we have! If you don't like it.. take your ass down to the Holiday Inn down the road! M'kay pumpkin! Ugh, people like him piss me off soo much!!

And yeah, that was pretty much the excitement of my night. Makes you just love to come into work doesn't it. And, to sweeten the deal it's raining like a mofo outside.

The only thing that's keeping me going right now, is the promise of my a.m. cuddle. It's kinda making me want 7am to come pronto! haha

Anyway.. I suppose I should go put out the [poison] bagels.. haha, and wait for the news paper man to come.
I hate Saturdays for the news paper.. we get two papers on Saturday, and the one paper man is always soo nice, he brings the paper in.. we have a nice little chat, and he leaves. Then the other one.. pfft fat lazy bastard won't even get out of his truck. He throws the papers in a bag, and chucks them onto the front door step. *Screw you bringer of the Review* haha

S.D.A.S <- Mina
star.avec.leaf <- Candace
Toodles <- Everyone Else
-Ash

So Very Boooring!

If I could sum up tonight in 3 words.. It Sucked Ass!
No X-Rated convos.. no phone calls.. 1 lonely walk-in.. *boo* It's pretty bad when my excitement for the night was the muffin man delivering like 4 trays of muffins :s

I can definitely tell that summer is no more. Tonight, we have a grand total of 8 [that's right EIGHT] rooms filled in the whole hotel. I mean by no means are we a big hotel, but we have 71 rooms haha, and only 8 of them have people in them. That's just sad! I can picture it now, it's only gonna get worse.
Tonight has been so bad, I think I would have settled with the van full of horny midgets.. complete with their umm.. mule? haha [loong story]

*People! Come here! Give me some excitement! I don't even care if you come baring rude comments! At least it will give me something to do!*

I guess the only thing I can do is pray for some hot hockey boys. From experience though.. the hockey boys that have stayed here in the past have all been dumb as a box of rocks :( Which isn't all that cool. So if you're gonna be dumb, at least be cute haha.
[Personally, I prefer soccer boys {hehe}.. but beggars can't be choosers]

On the plus side: I got my car back, all fixed! *yay* 350$ later.. but, no more noises! So now, I don't hate it as much..
And at least I will NEVER have to drive that horrid van again! That excites me more then anything!!
*It was so niice to do 130 [or faster] down the highway again haha*

Ciao
-Ash

p.s. Candace, I was very hurt when you said that I never leave you comments anymore! I leave you tonnes of comments!! Just the other day I recall leaving you "a whole pile" of them! So here you go.. you get your precccious mention in here, as well as a good scolding! Don't be a jerk! :)
And Marina.. seriously dude.. we HAVE to stop this whole 'mind reading' thing pronto! It's starting to scare me! haha

Only Soccer Moms Drive Mini-Vans !

Ok.. so this isn't really a 100% work story.. but it involves my 'adventure' ..wait, make that misadventure to work. :(

I've come to the conclusion that my car is a piece of shit, and will do whatever it can to piss me off. I have to get some work done on it, so I was unable to drive it in to work tonight. Due to the fact that I have a bad back tire.. and according to my dad "it's unsafe to drive it" Ohh.. it's unsafe for me, but it's ok for you to drive to work in the a.m. [All I get from this is, it's ok for him to die.. but not me? Does that seem right?]

Anyway.. I had the lovely pleasure of driving his STUPID ASS VAN to work tonight! *grr* I hate, hate, hate driving that thing! It's so big and awkward.. the gas pedal sticks.. and it's just all around not cool.. not to mention the fact that it looks like a giant carrot. :s I also can't forget to mention that prior to jumpin' in that bad boy to come to work, I got the whole lecture about how "the van doesn't like to do a buck forty on the highway.. it likes to cruise at an old man speed of 100" Guh! Thanks dad! I think you're just dumb.. and like to drive like an old man! ..What can I say, I like it fast haha.
Ohh jesus.. the whole way to work, I wanted to cry, and on top of that, I felt like punching myself for LOOKING LIKE A TOOL in that thing.

I hope to god that my car is fixed tomorrow.. so I never have to go through this again.. it's very traumatic for me!!

Needless to say, when I got to work [aside from the shame the van left on me] it was the same old boring night. A whopping 14 rooms tonight. Ye'haw Go Comfort Inn! I spent my night chatting to [you] Miss Mina with all the super fun antics of "Who would you do.." and I don't care what you say.. gay or not, those boys were daaaamn sexy! hahahaha!! As well as a very fun not quite G rated [R's more like it] conversation with my amazingly sweet boy. Haha.. I'm really working on some "121" action there. Like I said before, the memories are good, but ohh they could be soo much better! :)

*sigh* and when those good times came to an end.. I actually had to do my work *boo* and then I watched Step-Mom haha ..gotta love Julia Roberts [wow, all this and it's only 4 a.m.] I'm on a roll!

Lates
-Ash

p.s. coming back to work after having two days off from this prison.. sucks a lot of ass! haha

So Much For Non-Eventful!

Ahh, when I came into work tonight.. I was pretty sure that it was going to be a shitty night. We were soo dead, and it's Sunday.. people have to go to work and such tomorrow.. who wants to spend the night at a hotel.

Let me tell you, it ended up being a pretty fun night :)

When I came in, one of my fellow co-workers was in a bit of a hurry to get outta here.. for what I don't know. Anyway, she grabbed her bag of food out of the fridge.. and a WHOLE JAR of mayonnaise fell out, and exploded all over the floor. I effing can't stand mayo.. even the smell makes me nauseous. But being nice, I helped her clean it. And I got to spend the first hour of my time here, in a lobby that SMELT LIKE A GIANT NASTY SANDWICH! I was not amused!

I came across some MSN conversations that one of the girls that used to work here had saved on this computer. First of all.. WHO DOES THAT?! You don't save private shit on a work computer where anyone who cares to look [i.e. me] can find it!! Are you mental?! There was some pretty racy shit in them let me tell you! haha I'm not even going to go into details.. cuz they made me cringe.. ME.. I'm a freak haha :p But we'll just go with it was full of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll ..minus the rock n' roll :D
And, this is the same girl that would look up nasty things on google on a nighty basis.. when google stores all the shit that you search. When your boss uses the pc as well.. NEVER A GOOD IDEA!! So really, obviously there's no brain capacity there.. but someone loves you, even dumb-asses like you deserve love! hehe

Then at about 2am.. I got some walk-ins. They pulled up in a huge van, with a trailer behind them. [Kinda like a utility trailor.. nothing fancy] 2 guys came in, and said that they needed 2 rooms, both with double beds and also an extra cot, ok no problem, I give them there rooms and they go outside to get their stuff. NINE GUYS came in the next time! 9 guys.. in 2 rooms.. I'm sorry, but *YIKES* And not to seem rude, cuz there's absolutly nothing wrong with it.. but I question some of their sexuality haha. Then I have crazzzy Mina, putting all these idea's into my head about how they're going to be having a giant orgy in there. *Please don't tell me that* We also came to the conclusion that maybe they work for a male 'escort' service.. and that trailor is full of their toys, and paraphernalia. **As long as I don't hear you gentlemen.. have fun, and use safe practices!**

Ohh, I also have a story from yesterday morning..
It was like 6:30am.. I wanted nothing more then to go home and sleep. And I got these 4 old people in the lobby.. they came to get food and watch the weather channel [watch t.v. in your rooms! Jerks!] They were old.. so I had some sympathy for them.. cuz they're probably going to drop dead soon haha. But the one dumb lady couldn't use the toaster! So she's all like "excuse me ma'am.. how do you work this thing?!" Then her husband yells at her "She's not a ma'am! She's a miss! She's to young to be a ma'am" *THANK YOU OLD MAN FOR AGREEING WITH ME ON THAT* I can't stand being called Ma'am, it's one of my biggest pet peeves!! Anyway, a few minutes go by, and randomly out of no where I hear the one guy chime up "I'm cheap and easy baby!" Umm what?!?! I don't know [and I don't want to know] what the hell you crazzy old geezers are talking about, but keep that in the room thanks! I don't feel like "tossin' my cookies" before breaky :)

I'm so glad I have the next two nights off!! I don't know how much more of this excitment I can stand! haha

Late-a Gate-a
-Ash

Awesome Night !

Firstly, I'm gonna start off by saying *HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATE-DAWG!* I love you tonnes! But please stop saying you're old.. cuz I'm older then you, and that's just not cool haha.

Tonight, was the best night of work I've had in a loong time I think!
Good food, good conversation, and even a bit of ego stroke-age haha.

I don't care what anyone says.. ordering pizza at 1am, while working.. it doesn't get any better then that! Mmm, pizza :) add some garlic bread sticks in that mix.. and it's heaven! I had said earlier that it was better then sex, and that if the garlic sticks had come with cheese they would have been very 'orgasmic' .. but I lied, cuz really.. NOTHING is better then sex hahahahaha :D *Sorry.. did I say that out loud.. Ooops!*

I got to talk to 3 of my most favourite people tonight. Kate-Dawg.. and her adventure at the Falls tonight. And the fact that some crazzy mofo jumped into them!! Ohh JBTF how come nothing cool ever happened what I worked in your lovely vicinity.
Miss Marina *My crazzy Hoe-Bag #2* haha. Work would not be the same without you my friend. You're always a riot! You and your crazy obsession with google.. Oh! And by the way.. Jesus called, and wanted to know if you were interested in a booty call! Mwhahahaha. I'm sorry, that was out of line. :)
And of course I can't forget the cutest boy in the world! How I adore you! My most favourite part of work is getting to talk to you.. who am I kidding, my most favourite part of everyday is getting to talk to you!! Haha, wow.. that was soo girlie <- totally not like me :s Ahh well, can't argue with truth. xoxox

I had the pleasure of meeting a very nice American.. who gave me a tip, "cuz I was soo nice, and soo pretty" :) It may seem wrong.. but people giving me money cuz I'm a cutie, is kinda fun haha. Besides.. I think it's more wrong that he came out here and asked for change so he could get a "soda" IT'S POP! lol

And then after all that fun, I watched some crazzy movie on the Space channel.. where these people were getting off on beating others with their own limbs. They literally cut some dudes leg off, and then beat him with it until he was dead. And then the woman danced around with it, and took pictures and such. It was fuucked up! Whatever floats your boat I suppose. :s I think the thing that made it so weird, is that it was "Norm" from Cheers.. haha he's supposed to sit around and get drunk, not beat people with limbs!

**Mina, I'm sorry that this one wasn't as fun as the others.. please don't be disappointed** :(

Lates
-Ash

I'm Here To Listen??

Ahh, today's shift has been eventful already.. and I've been here for an hour!

So, I'm pulling up the drive-way.. and I see that all the lamp posts have balloons stuck to them. And I'm all like what the fuck?! So I come in, and I'm all like "yo, what's up with all the balloons?! Someone havin' a party? Is there booze involved in this party? If so, can I have some?!" haha

But apparently one of the guests "Nova Scotia" put them out there to piss off the boss man. And, if you knew my boss.. pissing him off, is better then booze [almost] lol
-> I was really bored at like 3am, so I went for a walk around the outside of the hotel.. and he really did put them EVERYWHERE! haha. They're suck to the walls, the windows, trees etc. It's like we're being over-taken by little yellow balloons!

Anyway, I come in.. and once again, my fellow employee feels the need to bitch to me about the rest of the staff. "Why does 'Mrs.T' hate me? What did I do to her? Has she said anything to you about me?" ..I'm not gonna say HELL YEAH! But I hear it all.. so I know what's going on, and it's annoying as fuck! After she was done with that little 'vent' she continued to go on about how she got yelled at from everyone about giving out a bagel after the traditional breakfast hours were over. When really.. WHO GIVES A FUCK! It's a bagel! What's it worth .35 cents?! But she got bitched at by the manager, and the boss man, and a few of the other big mouth employees.. so she felt the need to complain to me about it. Then finally.. she went on and on about how she's hates the boss. "He's a cheap fuckin' asshole!" "He's all paranoid.. cuz I took 'Nova Scotia' out for beers after my shift.. now he thinks there's something going on between us"
GUH! I DON'T CARE! IT'S NOW 11:30.. YOU'VE BEEN BITCHING TO ME FOR 30 MINUTES! *SWALLOW A KNIFE! I HATE YOU!*

Why does eveyone feel the need to vent to me?! Even my manager came in this morning.. laughed at me for drinking my little kid Kool-Aid Jammer *"naughty naughty kool-aid"* and then proceeded to complain about every member of the staff. I'm gonna start charging for this shit! Hello?! Do I look like a shrink?! Noooo! But now, I'm gonna charge you bitches like I am one! haha

*Note to the staff of the Comfort Inn: I don't give a fuck about your hatred for our fellow employees. Or any other 'beef' that you may have with them. So unless you're willing to compensate me for my time.. SHUT THE FUCK UP! :) Just go home.. drink a whole bottle of wine, maybe swallow some pills and be done with it!

->Also, Miss. Ran.. I 'borrowed' a whole shit load of stuff for you haha.. anything I could find that could be 'borrowed' it was done!
-Cheers!

Oh No! Not A Coyote!

Congratulations to you stupid old people on being the first ones to have a whole entry all to your self! *You're so lucky*

So, I'm sitting here reading.. and this old couple comes in. They were all worried that I had the door locked and that they had to wait that extra 5 seconds to come inside. "Oh, did we miss our curfew or something haha" Yes! You did! I like to lock the door to keep people like you out, and in case you haven't noticed.. there's nothing around here. I'm to cute to be violated.. and I'm not a fan of the idea either ;) Thanks.
The guy looks at me and says "I think there's a coyote out in the bushes near the end of the drive-way. It might be a fox or a coyote.. I'm not sure, but it's out there." ..Yeah, was it Willie? Unless he's out there with some sort of Acme rocket.. I hate to break it to ya, but we do have coyotes around here.. we have deer, and bunnies too. Are you going to report to me every time you see one of those ad boys as well? What would you like me to do about this coyote? Pull out the trusty shot gun that I keep in my back pocket.. and go hunt it? Given the choice, I'd rather hunt you for being a moron :)
Besides.. it is 3:30 in the morning, they do usually like to come out at night. Now if it was during the day, and you were out there playing "I Spy" with your wife, and you spied that Mr. Coyote.. then there might be some cause for concern. Because then he might have rabies.. and if he did, I think I'd want him to attack your dumb ass lol

Confessions: Summer '06 Recap..

Ok, this is probably going to be a long one.. but I am gonna cheat a little. A lot of this might have been cut and pasted from something that I've previously written. But it's all "Hotel Gold" if you will.. so bare with me, it has to be included! ..In other words, read it and like it! haha kidding!

Let me just 'set the mood'
I work the grave yard shift at a Comfort Inn [I'm not gonna say where.. God knows I don't need anymore psychos around here!] But it's kind of in the middle of no where.. in a quaint little hick town. I've been working there since January.. and trust me, that's to damn long! I think I need out! I work for a man who is the cheapest son of a bitch in the history of cheapness, and I work with a bunch of people that loove to vent on me about how much they hate all of the other staff members. Even my manager has a habit of telling me how much the staff pisses her off. I was told that it's cuz I'm such a sweet and kind person [that comment totally made my night!] But I'm a little scared to find out what they say about me when I'm not around..
[And just to clarify.. as tempting as it might be, I won't use names and such.. just so I don't get hunted down, and beaten' haha]

The Regulars:..
We have a few people that stay here on a regular basis. "Nova Scotia" who is the sweetest man I have ever met. He's the type of person who will go out of his way to do something nice for someone. It's always a joy to talk to him.

"Mr. Room 108" This man I hate with every fiber of my being! He's here once a week, for about 5 days, his company pays for his room, and yet he still feels the need to bitch about every little thing! Heaven forbid if we ever rent out "his room" he stomps around and throws a fit like a little two year old. He's just the type of person that I want to stab in their sleep.. *choke on your morning tea* haha

The Construction Boys. They go from one end of the scale to the other.. some of them are strange as hell, and others are so awesome! The one who always used to come out in the morning, and sing about what he was going to eat for breakfast *priceless* I never knew you could make a song about bagels with cream cheese until I met that man. He was a riot! The guy that kinda looked like Marco Materazzi, the Italian soccer [football] player.. haha. I kinda wanted to see him get head-butted in the chest.. but he was a nice man. And of course I can't forget the one who had the balls to stand up to my Mr. Boss-Man. He is my HERO! Anyone that can flip out and tell a man that he treats his employees and guests like shiit, and then go out and get completely wasted with his buddies is alright by me. Props to you nice eyes! :)

The Creepy Phone People:..
About a week ago I got this phone call from this guy, looking for one of our guests. I answered the phone as I usually do "Thank You for calling Comfort Inn ********, Ashley speaking" Then I get this old dude on the other end "You have such a beautiful voice! That's such a nice thing to wake up to. Would you mind if I called back just to hear it again?" YES! I WOULD MIND! Talk to whom ever you need to talk to, and then leave me alone! Needless to say.. that Effer called back twice. *Yikes*

He wasn't half as creepy as the guy that called me every night for about two weeks.. making all these phony reservations however. He had three different names, as well as phone numbers, and addresses.. but I could always tell it was him. He had this raspy creepy voice that honestly made me want to cry. He would do whatever he could to keep me on the phone as long as he could, and it always sounded like he was doing something 'bad' while listening to me talk [but lets not relive that one *shudder*] Then he would tell me about all his problems, how he hates his wife, how his marriage was a sham, and getting married was the dumbest thing he's ever done. Then he went on to tell me about how my voice sounded young, and how he really liked young girls. YEAH! IT WAS THE CREEPIEST THING EVER! Thank god he finally stopped calling me. Probably because I introduced him to "Bitch Ash" on the phone.. they don't pay me enough to be sweet and pleasant with effin' weirdos!

Drunken' Weirdos, Sex Fiends, and Whiny Bitches:..
Loots of them at the Comfort Inn! I get lots of guys that are old enough to be my dad, that like to try to pick me up.. yeah, so not cool! I get the classic lines [if you can call them classic..] "I've got alcohol in my room, wanna come party?" .. "You've got really pretty eyes, want to come up to my room?" .. I get the ones that are straight to the point, and think they're soo smooth when they come out with "Hey, wanna go make out?" Oh, and I think my most favourite "Do you have a boyfriend? Oh you do.. Well I probably make more money then him, so can I buy you dinner?" No matter how many times I hear it, or any of that shit for that matter, it makes me want to gag. Sure, I'd love to go for dinner, and get loaded with a complete stranger who's older then my dad.. RIGHT AFTER I SWALLOW THIS RAT POISON! But thanks for comin' out!

One guy that comes in here on a some what regular basis.. I shall call him "Mr. Sex" lol because everytime he's here, it's with a different girl. And every time he's here.. ohh boy do they make some noise! I could hear them all the way down the hall, with the lobby door closed! I was really surprised that I didn't get any noise complaints over that one! Every time he comes in when I'm working he gets all excited that I remember who he is, and I kinda feel like telling him "dude, if you knew why I remember you.. I don't think you'd be as excited" You greasy man whore you! Try not to damage the furniture or anything ok Tiger ;)

"The Porno Guy" I actually felt bad for this guy. He calls up to the front desk on night.. really late, and I can tell by his voice that he's super embarrassed. But he asks me if we have any "movies" that he was buy. I felt bad that I had to tell him no, due to the fact that I work for a cheap cheap man. He was disappointed.. so then he asked about our "internet situation" I told him that we have free wireless internet if he has a lap top. He did not.. He called back about 10 minutes later asking about the computer in the lobby, and if I minded if he came out to use it.. I told him to do what he had to do lol. He said that he might come out.. and hung up the phone. About 20 minutes later he came out, asked for some change [his hand was shaking as I gave it to him.. he was all shy and stuff lol] and he was all like are you sure you won't mind, you're not gonna think I'm some kind of perv are you? I said no.. so he put in his money, only to find out that all "the good shit" had been blocked out. So he took the rest of his change, bought a pop, and went back to his room. I honestly felt bad for this guy! He was 'frustrated' and he just wanted some way to release that frustration :(

Ahh, the crazzy whiny lady that I wanted to maim. She checked in late, went down to her room.. same old, same old. About 5 minutes later she called up to the front desk complaining that her bed wasn't made very well, and that the sheets looked like they had been slept in. Now I completely understand her complaining for this, me being like the germ queen haha there's no way in hell I'd wanna sleep in a bed that didn't look right. So, I told her that I could put her in a different room.. but it would have to be a non-smoking room. Well, she lost it! She didn't want to move, because she wanted to have a ciggy before she went to bed.. and it was to much of a hassle for her.. but she wasn't at all impressed with the hotel or the fact that her room was 'dirty' Umm, sorry darlin' there's only so much I can do for you.. and if you call up and bitch to me, but you're not going to take my suggestion.. DON'T BITCH! Honestly, do people really need to smoke that bad that they are willing to sleep in a bad that is suspect of being slept in?!

As well as all the other whiny people that get all upset because we don't have an elevator. THE HOTEL IS TWO FLOORS! THERE'S LIKE 15 STEPS! [I counted them one night after yet another person complained about having to use their legs] To all you people, get a life! Exercise is good for you, unless you want to drop dead at the age of 30..

Random Comfort Inn Hijinks:..
The gorgeous Military Guy! Who called and asked for a cot for his room.. then when I delivered it, he opened the door in nothing but a teeny little hotel towel. *drool* Just picture it! He's a big military boy, covered by nothing more then a piece of cloth.. and there's me, staring.. possibly drooling, trying to give him his cot, and him trying to pull it into the room without his little towel falling off. Wow! Definitely no complaining on my part about that day!

The Inflate-A-Date! Thems were some good times when one of the house keepers found that bad boy.. well bad girl. Haha, complete with fish nets and the whole skank ensemble! I will never forget that day, she brings out this latex lady [with gloves on!] And says to me "Do you think anyone is going to have the balls to come back and claim this?" Sadly.. no one did, which is a real shame.. cuz I really wanted to laugh at them! **SO, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, AND YOU LEFT YOUR "BITCH" AT THE COMFORT INN.. PLEASE COME GET HER! SHE'S LONELY!** Thanks! haha

The vacuum cleaner sales men, aka "The Muffin Boys" They were very cute lol, and they never seemed to sleep. They would come out to the lobby at all hours of the night for coffee, juice, and MUFFINS. I swear, they must have eaten like 20 muffins a day. We'd have a quick conversation, and then they'd go back down to their room to play playstation, and whatever else they did while they weren't selling vacuums.

Forget 'Adventures in Babysitting' call this 'Adventures in Calling the Cops!'A few times I've had to call the police, I hate doing that.. cuz I'm not a fan of confrontation.. but when it has to be done, it has to be done. Like the night where there was a bunch of drunken' little bastards who were making soo much noise and breaking shit. They scared me a little. Or the cheap mofo that would sit in the parking lot every day.. we all thought that he was going to abduct someone.. but it turns out he was just a big computer geek, and was sitting out there to steal our wireless internet.

-> To all the idiots.. sorry people.. that can't for the life of them figure out how to work the toaster, or the juice machine. It's ok, we can't all be blessed with a brain. I'm sure someone still loves you ;)

I have to put this in here, just because it's THE GREATEST SENTENCE YOU WILL EVER HEAR!: "I'm just going to stand here, and let this honey drip on my muffin." Great times during one of my training nights.. I hate training newbies.. but this was a good night haha. I don't want to give out to much info on this one.. make ya think a little ;)
*Sounds dirrrty doesn't it! It's soo not! But that's what makes it so brilliant!

***Wow! That's one loong mofo!!***

Y'all know you wannt come stay here so you can be part of the excitement! We're located at.. KIDDING! If you're lucky you'll have the pleasure of stumbling upon this jewel of a hotel all on your own!

Ciao!
-Ash

Yee'Haaw!

Since you dedicated your first one to moi.. MARINA! THIS IS FOR YOU!
I finally got this stupid thing to work.. it took soo long and I was ready to put my foot through this damn thing! But I think things are good to go now! At least they better be *shakey fist* If not.. at least I'll have a kick ass profile that you can read :s
Do you think it's odd that I chose green, and not my usual colour of EVERYTHING PINK?! Haha.. I was a little impressed by that actually. I like to try new things ;) *shut up* !

For anyone else that just might happen to stumble upon my ramblings.. I've had some pretty fun times at this job from hell haha.. and when I say fun, I mean scary..
But once you're here, I bet some of my stories will keep you comin' back for more haha! If not, your loss I suppose haha
..Seeing as the summer is now over, and the 'excitment' has probably died down [who knows though, all the super freaks might come out with the cold weather..] I will have to put together a recap of all the best, and worst Comfort Inn horror stories. Complete with drunks, sex fiends, and whiney little bitches! It's gonna be a blasty blast so settle in and enjoy :)

Cheers!
-Ash