Shit Blog To End All Shit Blogs

How much do you think it would hurt to have my throat viciously ripped out by some form of big wild animal with huge claws? Preferably like a tiger.. no, on second thought, I want something meaner..

It would have to hurt less then this god damn infection!! I finally break down and drag myself to the doctor today -and for anyone that knows me, you know that I'm as stubborn as they come, and only venture to the doctor if I'm on the verge of DEATH- but anyway, I went to the doctor, actually, the Walk-In Clinic.. cuz my doctor had to be an asshole, and go retire.. pfft!

Anyway, I get there.. they stick my in this little room, that smells like a hospital *gag* with that stupid little paper on the bed, and I begin to wait. Like 20 minutes go by, and finally the little bastard comes in, takes one look at my throat and says "Hmm, looks like a bad infection" Uhh, thanks genius!! I didn't even go to Med. School.. and I could have told you that one! He sticks this giant Q-Tip down my throat.. far enough to test my gag reflex.. and then leaves again.

Another 15 - 20 minutes go by, and he comes back "Oh, that swab I took, showed nothing, so I have to take another one" Maybe if you stick it down further.. you'll hit stomach lining, and find something there! So he takes another one, and then he's all like, "There could be a number of things causing this.. it could be mono, strep throat, or it could be a bacterial infection.. caused by"... umm... "certain bodily fluids"... lol NIIIIICE! "I'm going to give you a prescription for some meds, and send you for blood work"
FIRST THING: These meds WHICH I CAN NOT SWALLOW.. have to be taken with food, which I CAN NOT SWALLOW! And they have to be taken with plenty of water WHICH I ALSO CAN NOT SWALLOW. If they're not taken with food, it could cause sever upset stomach and nausea.. and if not taken with water, it could cause damage to my kidneys... thanks a lot quack! SECOND THING: Telling me that you want to take my blood is worse then swearing.. like really bad 'C-Word' swearing. Me and needles have never gotten along.. and the needles always win, in the form of knocking me out cold.
The lady that took my blood was super nice though, she let me lay down.. so I would have as far to fall.. and she told me that I had really nice veins -which I will remember if I ever want to start doing heroine- :s

So yeah.. long story short, Every time I force myself ..rather someone forces me to the doctor.. they want to take my blood! God damn leeches! My blood is mine! I need it! Stop stabbing me with needles to take it from me! And, I get to go back to that wonderful place tomorrow.. so we can play another round of "hmm, that looks like a bad infection but I'm not all to sure of the cause" ** For the love of god!! Put me out of my misery! ** I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy :( I just want to be able to swallow water.. is that so much to ask?! Cause I'm thirsty.. and I quite fancy my kidneys..

To top all this off.. I had to come into work tonight.. because I work with a bunch of bastards, and no one would take my shift.. *Fuckers! You'll get yours! I'm going to lick everything that you own!*
On a lighter note though.. when I got here, the one person that I didn't call cuz she was working 3-11.. Kath aka "Honey Muffin" was all caring, and was like "ohh sweetie.. you should have called me, I would have worked a double, and stayed all night for you! Aww, Kath, this is why you rock! And I'm soo gonna miss you when you leave!! Aww, and then Mark offered to buy me a chocolate milk shake to sooth my throat.. he's such a sweeeeet heart!!
And then I got this fun little story, which even though it hurts to even think about laughing.. made me chuckle.
-Apparently there were these two drunks, that some how ended up on the wrong side of the fence, near the highway. So she goes out there with a blanket, and tells them that she will put it over the top, so they can hop the fence.. cuz there really isn't to many other options. They say that they can't cuz they've both been in really bad accidents, and the drunken chick says that she has like 3 pounds of titanium in her because of it. Then she goes on to tell me that the whole time this woman was whining about titanium she was thinking "oh yeah, 3 pounds eh.. I have 3 pounds of titanium in me to... when I use my vibrator!- NIIIICE KATH!! NIIIICE!! hahahaha

Ohh jeeze.. I just want to go home, take my drugs, and sleep..

Toodles
-Ash

** 3 days, without eating blows! Yet the strange thing is, I'm not the least bit hungry.. I would still kill for some greasy Mc Donalds, some sprite .. and some ice cream though ** haha