It's been 4 days since I've eaten anything.... I'm STARVING!!!
Today was the first day I was able to swallow any liquids (even now doing so feels like shards of glass).. it was brutal!! I couldn't even swallow my own spit :s Let me tell you what an attractive site that was.
I also pretty much love the fact that I can't talk... I sound like a mute :s My voice it all squeeky and I have this wonderful new lisp *Chaaaaarming*
My mouth tastes like a dead animal and I DO NOT LIKE IT! I feel soo dirty.. I've went through almost 2 bottles of mouth wash and it does nothing.
I'm soo glad I'm not in huge amounts of pain, cuz I can't swallow the meds they gave me either. Why the hell do they like to give out horse pills to people who have no throat??? Does that make any sense to ANYONE?!
And I gotta tell ya, I honestly don't know how people can enjoy not working... like seriously being couped up in this house for 4 days, I'm ready to kill someone. I'm so god damn bored.
I wanna say thanks though, to all the Well Wishes :) [and prezzies haha] They make me smile!
*Thanks to my Kate-Dawg & Ryan for the visit and my 'Ash-Cat' he reins supreme.. cast and all LoL
*Thanks to Michael's for the purty flowers, and the 'check-up' call to make sure I was alive
*Thanks to Riiiichie (with 47 i's) even though you have not come to visit me.... (a-hole) and made me talk to you on the phone for like a year :s I know you mean well. And P.S. when I'm better I think you totally owe me dinner and maybe a movie :p
*Mina.. for being greatful that I woke up
*My mom for the unlimited 7-11 slushies... that until today I was unable to eat so they melted on my table..
*My dad for listening to me whine, and bringing whatever I want... not that that's any different from any other time when I'm not half dead.
*Even thanks to Nicholas who gave me his support and concern over the fact that I couldn't consume liquid... even though I'm pretty sure there's only one 'liquid' he's concerned about... and that ain't happenin' my dear :p
*And finally to everyone else... (except you Candace.. cuz you said I'd be fine, and I'm not :p jerk-monkey!)
P.S. I miss my Brutus cat.... he died yesterday :(
..:Love you lots Grumpy Old Man:..
Happy late Birthday to the 'BIGHOUSE'! (Aug.19)
August 21, 2007
August 13, 2007
cryin' for nothin' / cryin' for no one / no one but you..
WoW, I've really been neglecting this thing..
I figured since I can't sleep, now would be the perfect time to write something (if I'm lucky perhaps it will even have some whit and humour)
~~August 13, 2007~~
4 days till surgery, and as that day draws closer, I can feel the stress building. I honestly haven't has a good night sleep in over a week. Every time I try, the idea of it pops into my little brain, and I'm done. I've been making myself sick over it :s :literally:
I've never been more scared of anything in my whole life.
Everyone keeps telling me that it will go smoothly, and that everything will be fine, I will feel a lot better yadda yadda.. UMM HELLO, you're not the one's going in on Friday at 12:45 pm to be stuck with an I.V. knocked out, and have pieces of you cut out!!
For those who don't know me, I'm generally a strong person, I can take a lot of shit.. but when it comes to this, Ill be the first to admit I'm a PUSS
(Trust me, I'm not proud of the fact that I can't take a needle in the arm, without passing out, or like in my most recent blood work endeavor that included vomiting :s but I think it adds a little bit of character to the person that is Ash)
I don't handle it well, when I'm told to sign forms that will allow for blood transfusions, and organ donation.. "not that they're planning on that, but 'just in case'"
Strangely I feel like I don't have the proper support I should have...
From one person in particular, (you know who you are, not that you'll ever read this, so it doesn't matter) You've let me down more times then I care to count and yet, I still keep comin' back for you to deal out more of you're cruel punishment. I suppose most people would call me stupid, I like to think of it as 'optimistic' but even I'm starting to doubt that.
This summer has pretty much been the shittiest one I've ever had to survive through.. so much for that Psychic telling me I was gonna have a good year.. where the hell is the good?!?
It's been full of swollen tonsils, work, and blah. -Ok, I'll give it some happy times, that always seem to end with a broken heart though.. so that doesn't really count in my opinion.
I feel a little more relaxed now that I've half typed my little heart out. I think perhaps I should try to sleep, considering I have to work in the a.m.
P.S. Happy Birthday to Miss Candace (yesterday)
even though I didn't get to see you, which made me sad.. but I hope you had a great weekend
"Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember"
-Oscar Levant
I figured since I can't sleep, now would be the perfect time to write something (if I'm lucky perhaps it will even have some whit and humour)
~~August 13, 2007~~
4 days till surgery, and as that day draws closer, I can feel the stress building. I honestly haven't has a good night sleep in over a week. Every time I try, the idea of it pops into my little brain, and I'm done. I've been making myself sick over it :s :literally:
I've never been more scared of anything in my whole life.
Everyone keeps telling me that it will go smoothly, and that everything will be fine, I will feel a lot better yadda yadda.. UMM HELLO, you're not the one's going in on Friday at 12:45 pm to be stuck with an I.V. knocked out, and have pieces of you cut out!!
For those who don't know me, I'm generally a strong person, I can take a lot of shit.. but when it comes to this, Ill be the first to admit I'm a PUSS
(Trust me, I'm not proud of the fact that I can't take a needle in the arm, without passing out, or like in my most recent blood work endeavor that included vomiting :s but I think it adds a little bit of character to the person that is Ash)
I don't handle it well, when I'm told to sign forms that will allow for blood transfusions, and organ donation.. "not that they're planning on that, but 'just in case'"
Strangely I feel like I don't have the proper support I should have...
From one person in particular, (you know who you are, not that you'll ever read this, so it doesn't matter) You've let me down more times then I care to count and yet, I still keep comin' back for you to deal out more of you're cruel punishment. I suppose most people would call me stupid, I like to think of it as 'optimistic' but even I'm starting to doubt that.
This summer has pretty much been the shittiest one I've ever had to survive through.. so much for that Psychic telling me I was gonna have a good year.. where the hell is the good?!?
It's been full of swollen tonsils, work, and blah. -Ok, I'll give it some happy times, that always seem to end with a broken heart though.. so that doesn't really count in my opinion.
I feel a little more relaxed now that I've half typed my little heart out. I think perhaps I should try to sleep, considering I have to work in the a.m.
P.S. Happy Birthday to Miss Candace (yesterday)
even though I didn't get to see you, which made me sad.. but I hope you had a great weekend
"Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember"
-Oscar Levant
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